Kids and Wedding Vows

When you already have Youngsters, they become a big consideration when you decide you want to get married.

If the Youngsters are left out of the wedding, they feel left out.

Forcing Kids to do things in public can leave deep emotional scars.

Second families pose special challenges when it comes to planning weddings. The Youngsters require special consideration.

First, identify who the adults are and who the Youngsters are. Adults must act like adults, and Youngsters must be treated as Kids. Adults are suppose to be emotionally mature, capable of self control, logical thought, and consideration of others. Youngsters are not yet mature, capable of controlling their world, have difficulty understanding adult things, and are mostly concerned about their own welfare.

Adults can make the transition to a new family easier by first settling their own feelings and then guiding and supporting the development of Youngsters and their personal adjustments.

Children want to belong. They need to feel safe, secure, and loved. They do not understand adult relationships and may feel threatened at time.

Prevent problems by building positive relationships with the Kids. Help the Children accept the new adults in their lives before wedding pressures develop.

Dysfunctional families result for a lack of consideration, love, and acceptance. Everyone suffers. The aim of every family should be to create an atmosphere where each family member feels accepted, loved, and secure.

Prepare for your wedding by first strengthening the personal relationships. Adults and Children need to feel connected and a wedding can be a great way to deepen and strengthen those bonds.

This is where wedding vows involving Children comes in.

A few months ago, a couple approached me to perform their wedding for them. The bride had been married previously and an eight year old son named Todd. They were concerned about how the wedding would impact the boy.

At a wedding planning session, it was suggested that Todd be included in the ceremony.

Including Todd was a big deal. Todd was excited and his new parents looked forward to planning a great wedding for the family.

It was decided, that the ceremony itself would be designed around affirming each relationship: bride to groom, mother to child, new father to child, and the whole family together. We began by looking at the traditional vows and pledges. Obviously, they are designed for the bride and groom to express their commitments to each other. They do a pretty good job too. In this case, we decided to add a special set of vows to express the additional roles of parent to child.

The vows involving Todd were added to the usual vows. These were the words.

Bride: Because I love you, Todd, I ask that you accept Charles as my husband and your step father. I promise that I will always love, protect, and cherish you.

Groom: Todd, I have promised to love your mother, but I now pledge to love you as my son. I promise to provide for you, protect you, and encourage you to become everything you desire.

Todd: I love you Mom and I love you Charles. I know you love me and promise to honor you as my parents and love you as your son.

Celebrate love and family together with your Youngsters. It will go a long way toward launching your family.

Dr. David Trumble is an experienced minister and author from Austin, Texas who supplies wedding supplies and wedding vows to couples nation wide. Read his ebooks and store including his book Wedding Vows Involving Children.