Make Family Your First Priority

I am lucky to have so many happy memories of my young years. When we were young, my little brother and I would chase our small dog around our large back yard. When we got a little older Mum and Dad would take us to swimming lessons at the beach and then by the kiosk for ice-cream on the way home. Later on as teens, we would spend time with the other teenagers in the neighborhood, riding our bicycles in the street until it got dark. But then more time goes by, you grow up, and you move away. You never stop loving your parents but there is always the risk that you will grow apart. It is this time of the year-holiday season-when we are reminded just how important it is not to take our family for granted.

Let Family Know You Appreciate Them

It is important to let your family know how much you appreciate them, but unfortunately it isn’t always that easy. For instance, my Dad and I have never really had an openly loving relationship. We’re tough guys and sharing your feelings isn’t the norm. Don’t get me wrong, we know we love each other but it is unspoken. He endured the same relationship with his father and never let him know that he loved him until it was too late. Because of this, I made certain to take on the responsibility of making sure things didn’t end up the same way between my dad and me. Now we share the occasional awkward: ‘I love you Dad, I love you son’ moment. Still not perfect, but it is a work in progress. My partner’s family is the exact opposite. When you come to visit you get a hug upon arrival, and you get more hugs when you depart. It does make me a bit envious sometimes, but it does give me something to try for.

Set Your Life Priorities

Look at life this way. If you died tomorrow, your coworkers would mourn you briefly but it is a guarantee you would be replaced and the office would go on without you. On the other hand, the family you leave behind will live with the loss for the rest of their lives. They will hold your memory dear, and think of you often. Now think of how much time you spend at work compared to the time you spend with the important people in your life. The level of importance should be very clear regarding time spent with loved ones, especially during the holidays. My mother and my aunty organise a massive family get-together each and every year during the Christmas holidays. My father’s siblings consist of eight sisters and brothers. Each of them have at a minimum two kids of their own, grown now and some of them also have children! It is loud and busy and chaotic…but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It is the best way I can think of to spend the holiday season.

Make Time

Always make every effort possible to spend time with your family. If you’ve become distant, be the one to take the first step and initiate contact. Maybe invite your family over for a nice dinner together. Try to initiate get-togethers on a regular basis. If you live far from your family, give them a call on the telephone. You can rest assured they would love to hear from you. Spend time reminiscing, and make sure your family knows how much you value your memories of your life together. Take a few moments to write them a letter. If time is short, send an email instead. I am always getting spam emails from my mom, the kind of humorous junk emails that are so annoying and bothersome if they were to come from anybody else. She has a hidden agenda, I believe, conscious or not, to avoid being forgotten. Her joke emails are intended to remind me she is there, and after she sends them we start an email conversation and both feel better because of it.

Every family has its good and bad times; there simply is no such thing as a perfect family. But your family is the only one you have, and they are the ones who will always be there for you when you need them. The time we have to spend with our family is precious, so we should avoid spending it fighting with one another. Never leave it until too late to show your appreciation and let your family know you are thinking of them.

Everyone knows what it feels like to be in a rut, trapped in a pattern of circumstances that we cannot escape. Sometimes, those circumstances change by themselves, but more often we need to take action to ensure that we don’t become stuck in a rut.