Making Time for Your Family

I am lucky to have so many comforting memories from my young years. When my brother and I were youngsters, we used to chase our little dog around our backyard. After we got a bit older, our parents would take us to swimming lessons at the beach. Afterwards, we would then stop by the kiosk for ice cream on the way home. Later on as teens, we would spend time with the other teenagers in the neighborhood, riding our bicycles in the street until it got dark. But then more time goes by, you grow up, and you move away. You never stop loving your parents but there is always the risk that you will grow apart. It is this time of the year-holiday season-when we are reminded just how important it is not to take our family for granted.

Appreciation

It is important to let your family know how much you appreciate them, but unfortunately it isn’t always so simple. For example, my Dad and I have never really had an openly loving relationship. We’re tough guys and sharing your feelings isn’t the norm. We do love each other, very much, but we share an unspoken kind of love. The same type of relationship existed between my dad and his father. Unfortunately, he never showed his love for him until it was too late. Because of this, I made certain to take on the responsibility of making sure things didn’t end up the same way between my dad and me. Now, awkwardly, we share the “I love you son; I love you dad” moment. The relationship is not perfect by any means, but it is something we both work hard at. When it comes to my partner’s family, the situation is the exact opposite. When you come to visit you get a hug upon arrival, and you get more hugs when you depart. Sometimes I’m a bit envious but their relationship gives me something to aim for.

Properly Establish Priorities

Look at it from another perspective. If you died tomorrow, the people you work with would mourn you for a short time, but you would be replaced and business would go on as usual. On the other hand, the family you leave behind will endure the loss for the rest of their lives. They will celebrate you often and they will never forget you. Consider now how much time you spend at work, and how much time you devote to your family. The level of importance should be very clear regarding time spent with loved ones, especially during the holidays. Every year my aunty and my mother organise a huge get-together that my whole family attends. My father’s siblings consist of eight brothers and sisters. Each of them have at a minimum two kids of their own, grown now and some of them also have children! It is loud and busy and chaotic…but I would have it no other way. It is the best way I can think of to spend the holiday season.

Make Time

Always make every effort possible to spend time with your family. If you’ve become distant, be the one to take the first step and initiate contact. Maybe invite your family over for a nice dinner together. Try to initiate get-togethers on a regular basis. If you live far from your family, give them a call on the telephone. You can rest assured they would love to hear from you. Spend time reminiscing, and make sure your family knows how much you value your memories of your life together. Take a few moments to write them a letter. If time is limited, send an email instead. I am always getting spam emails from my mom, the kind of humorous junk emails that are so annoying and bothersome if they were to come from anybody else. She has a hidden agenda, I believe, conscious or not, to avoid being forgotten. Her joke emails are intended to remind me she is there, and after she sends them we start an email conversation and both feel better because of it.

Every family has its good and bad times; there simply is no such thing as a perfect family. But your family is the only one you have, and they are the ones who will always be there for you when you need them. The time we have to spend with our family is short, so we should avoid spending it fighting with one another. Show your appreciation and love for your family while you have the opportunity; don’t wait until it is too late to let them know you think of them often.

We have all been in a rut, locked in a pattern of circumstances that we cannot seem to get out of. Rarely do those circumstances change by themselves, it’s more likely that we will need to take action to ensure that we don’t become stuck in a rut.