Making Time for Your Family

I am lucky to have so many comforting memories of my childhood. When my brother and I were young, we used to chase our little dog around our backyard. After we got a bit older, our parents would take us to swimming lessons at the beach. Afterwards, we would then stop by the kiosk for ice cream on the way home. As teenagers we would take our bikes out into the street with all the other neighborhood teens and just ride around until it got dark. But then more time goes by, you grow up, and you move away. You never stop loving your parents but there is always the risk that you will grow apart. It is this time of the year-holiday season-when we are reminded just how important it is not to take our family for granted.

Show Appreciation for Family

It is important to let your family know how much you appreciate them, but unfortunately it isn’t always so easy. I never had an openly loving relationship with my father, for example. As is common with males, masculinity comes into the picture and expressing feelings is difficult to do. We do love each other, very much, but we share an unspoken kind of love. He endured the same relationship with his father and never let him know that he loved him until it was too late. Because of this, I made certain to take on the responsibility of making sure things didn’t end up the same way between my dad and me. Now we share the occasional awkward: ‘I love you Dad, I love you son’ moment. Still not perfect, but it is a work in progress. My partner’s family is the polar opposite. You literally can’t turn up for dinner without a cuddle on the way in and a cuddle on the way out. It does make me a bit jealous sometimes, but it does give me something to aspire to.

Priorities

Look at life this way. If you were to die tomorrow, your coworkers would mourn you for a short time but it is a guarantee you would be replaced and the office would go on without you. On the other hand, the family you leave behind will endure the loss for the rest of their lives. They will hold your memory dear, and think of you often. Now consider how much time you spend at work compared to the time you spend with the important people in your life. The level of importance should be very clear regarding time spent with loved ones, especially during the holidays. Every year my aunty and my mother organise a huge get-together that my whole family attends. My father’s siblings consist of eight brothers and sisters. Each of them have at a minimum two kids of their own, grown now and some of them also have children! It is loud and busy and chaotic…but I would have it no other way. It is the best way I can think of to spend the holiday season.

Make Time

Always make every effort possible to spend time with your family. If you’ve become distant, be the one to take the first step and initiate contact. Maybe invite your family over for a nice dinner together. Try to initiate get-togethers on a regular basis. If you live far from your family, give them a call on the telephone. You can rest assured they would love hearing from you. Reminisce together and let your family know how dear those memories are to you. Take a few minutes to write them a letter. If time is restricted, send an email instead. My mother sends me spam; the typical funny (junk) emails that would annoy you if they came from anyone else. I think that deep down there is a hidden agenda; she doesn’t want to be forgotten. Her joke emails are intended to remind me she is there, and after she sends them we start an email conversation and both feel better because of it.

Every family has its good and bad times; there simply is no such thing as a perfect family. But your family is the only one you have, and they are the ones who will always be there for you when you need them. The time we have to spend with our family is precious, so we should avoid spending it fighting with one another. Never leave it until too late to show your appreciation and let your family know you are thinking of them.

Everyone knows what it feels like to be in a rut, trapped in a pattern of circumstances that we cannot escape. Sometimes, those circumstances change by themselves, but more often we need to take action to ensure that we don’t become stuck in a rut.