Teaching Children To Overcome Bullying

Thankfully the subject of bullying is getting some attention so that victims and bullies alike can finally get the help that they need to break the cycle. Now that school is back in session, it’s a good time for a refresher course in how to help your child handle a bully. Make sure that your child feels your love and support and that he knows he can come to you anytime with updates on the situation. Here’s what you should know for starters:

1. Ignoring it isn’t the solution. Actually, ignoring any problem in life isn’t a good way to go. While it’s okay to remind your child that there are many nice kids he can focus his attentions on instead of the one that is bullying him, flat out ignoring a bully rarely helps. Tell your child that he did the right thing by telling you and that there’s a big difference between tattling on a friend and alerting an adult to a situation such as bullying.

2. Don’t make your child feel as if his actions brought on the bullying. Nobody asks to be bullied, right? Let your child give some thought to why the other kid might be behaving so badly without asking what he might’ve done to bring it on.

3. Never advise your child to fight back. Bad behavior begets bad behavior, right? Your child should simply tell the bully to “stop it!” and then walk away. Explain that bullies usually enjoy seeing their victims scared or angry, and then suggest that your child not give him that pleasure. Tell your child to go to areas where there are other children or adults present and not be caught off by himself whenever possible.

4. Try using humor. Think about it…if a bully’s main methods are to poke fun or ridicule your child, the best thing to do is to make fun of yourself too. That way, the victim takes the power away from the bully. Here’s a great example: let’s say that your child and his best friend are always together and the bully starts teasing them for being inseparable. What if your child and the other playfully locked arms and pretended to be attached at the hip? Instead of getting rattled, they are completely disarming the bully by making fun of themselves instead. Make a list of things that a bully can make fun of and help your child think of funny ways to take control of the situation.

Once you and your child have worked on the above talking points, don’t stop there. It’s time to get another adult involved who can oversee the situation when you’re not around. Go to the teacher, bus driver or cafeteria aid in authority during the time that problems tend to arise. Chances are, there’s a bullying program at your school and the faculty has a way to step in.

Alan Greene has written dozens of articles on family issues, career preparation, online colleges and online degrees for professional women.